“What’s in a name?” to quote Shakespeare, or more fittingly perhaps in a job title…
In our politically correct world we are now no longer at liberty to call a spade a spade and so we have exaggerated and embellished job titles. Some of the most intriguing being,
Wet Leisure Assistant – Life Guard
Vision clearance engineer – Window cleaner
Education centre nourishment production assistant – Dinner lady
Waste removal engineer – Bin man
Knowledge navigator – Teacher
Stock replenishment adviser – Shelf stacker
Head of verbal communications – Secretary
Cash relation officer – Banker
Environment improvement technician – Cleaner
Revenue protection officer – Ticket inspector
Technical horticultural maintenance officer – Gardener
Wastewater treatment officer – Sewage worker
Crockery cleaning operative – Dish washer
Space consultant – Estate agent
Bed Rubber - operates machine which smoothes stone blocks
Bobbin Loose-End Finder - finds and ties broken thread on winding machines
Carroter - conditions fur for use in felt hat manufacture
Flatcar Whacker - maintains and repairs logging rail cars
Hand Nailer - assembles wooden boxes, pallets and packing cases
Last Putter-Away - sorts and stores shoe moulds
Odd Shoe Examiner - examines shoe uppers for defective parts
Poultry Offal Icer - shovels ice into chicken waste parts to avoid spoiling
Skull Grinder - cleans ear and nose passages of brained pig heads
Wax-Ball Knock-Out Worker - removes wax forms from insides of new basketballs
Beverage Dissemination Officer – Barman
Colour Distribution Technician – Painter & Decorator
Customer Experience Enhancement Consultant – Shop Assistant
Domestic Technician – Housewife
Education Centre Nourishment Consultant – Dinner Lady
Highway Environmental Hygienist – Road Sweeper
Field Nourishment Consultant – Waitress
Five a Day Collection Operative – Fruit Picker
Front Line Customer Support Facilitator – Call Centre Worker
Gastronomical Hygiene Technician – Dish Washer
Mass Production Engineer – Factory Worker
Media Distribution Officer – Paper Boy
Mobile Sustenance Facilitator – Burger Van Worker
Mortar Logistics Engineer – Labourer
Petroleum Transfer Engineer – Petrol Station Assistant
Recycling Operative – Bin Man
Sanitation Consultant – Toilet Cleaner
Coin Facilitation Engineer – Toll Booth Collector
Transparency Enhancement Facilitator – Window Cleaner
Vehicle Restoration Engineer – Panel Beater
Fuel Injection Engineer – Petrol forecourt attendant
Space consultant – Estate agent
Ambient replenishment controllers – Shelf stackers
Revenue Protection Officer – Ticket inspector
Foot health gain facilitator – Chiropodist
Head of Verbal Communications – Secretary
Technical horticultural maintenance officer – Gardener
Flueologist – Chimney sweep
Dispatch services facilitator – Post room worker
Regional head of services, infrastructure and procurement – Caretaker
Knowledge navigator – Teacher
Surface hydro-maintenance technician – Janitor
Bugger – Welders helper
Software Evangelist – common title at Apple
Nick Duncombe
ReThink Analytics
nduncombe@rethink-recruitment.com
http://uk.linkedin.com/in/nickduncombe
